Living a life of purpose looks different for everyone. For some, it's staying busy all the time. For some, it's making a career that pays well above your needs. For others it means enjoying the little things. For me, it's all of those things!
As our family has uprooted from our beloved home, community and state of Utah, feelings of loneliness and lack of purpose have crept in on me. I have spent the last three weeks fighting to find balance between all three of the aforementioned.
To start off, the first day we were here, we were able to enjoy the small moments of getting to know our neighbors and ward members. We were showered with a lot of kindness and love as they helped us move in, invited us over for dinner, brought dinner to us, invited us to be apart of their lives, show us around, give us recommendations and continually check in to see what they could do to help us. It was such a wonderful way to be welcomed to a state that we have never been to, introducing the kindness that was so much bragged about from others when we were moving here. Yet for some reason, I have still felt really lonely.
I miss familiarity, friends and routines that have been created as we have lived in Utah the past 12 years of our lives. Raising children, knowing the area, especially the mountains, instant friends through lots of common interests, etc.
I miss being busy all the time, running errands with and without my kids, routines of school and church gatherings, training my clients and teaching fitness classes. I have interviewed to find locations to train my new clients and to instruct classes only to be turned away. Running errands with the kids only leaves them whining because they have their own agendas. And now the talk of possibily not returning to an actual school building is being realized by the end fo this month. It's a lot of changes that I have/still trying, to adjust to.
I miss my husband being content with his career. The 14 years that we have been married, there have only been a handful of those years that he has truly felt valued, appreciated and compensated according to his talents, abilities and skills. With those challenges comes the need for added faith in our lives to allow God to direct our paths and help us grow where we're planted.
Life with purpose doesn't have to include all of those things at one time, but having at least one makes my life feel a little more normal. While I have been struggling to find my purpose right now, I know the time will come as I continually set out trying to regain some normalcy.
Things that have been lacking which has lead to my feelings of missing purpose in my life.
I need a daily scripture routine.
I need a daily exercise routine.
I need family breakfast.
I need the temple to reopen.
I need weekly date nights with the husband.
I need quiet time to reflect on my feelings.
I need to spend quality time with my kids.
I need to reach out to others.
I need to get rid of moving boxes and park my cars in the garage.
Living my life of purpose will take time to adjust. Living my life of purpose will take effort, greater than before. Living a life of purpose will take perseverance and patience. I'm willing to do it all for the hopes that one day I will rest and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Until then, acknowledging my feelings and allowing the positive to take root and the negative to wash away is my purpose now.
Doing daily acts on purpose help me to live a life of purpose.